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One of the greatest misconceptions people have about attachment patterns is the idea that a person with an avoidant pattern is avoiding attachment. They. Are. Not. Avoidance is an adaptive coping strategy they learned to use in their early relationships. If a person's caregivers are not able to handle emotions with connection and calm (either they consistently overreact or consistently underreact), the child learns that the best way to keep their caregivers close is to swallow what they feel. Th
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