As the white smoke finally emerged from the Sistine Chapel, Mennonites across the globe waited with bated breath to find out just whose authority they would be rejecting for the next few years. “It’s ...

After millions of complaints from customers, McDonald’s has finally found a solution to the broken ice cream machine problem that has plagued their restaurants across the country – hiring the Amish.

Schazenblum’s favourite former dairy farm/wedding venue is now offering up to ten percent off rentals if you’re willing to get married during manure spreading season. “Come one come all to ...

It’s the debate that has taken the Internet by storm – who would win in a fight: 100 Mennonites or a gorilla? We took to the streets of Kleefeld to see what the people thought about this pressing ...

With just seconds to go in the service, Pastor Karl really laid home a particularly profound point about atonement that really got everyone fired up and eventually sent the sermon into double overtime ...

Gearing up for his first international visit to Washington, DC, Prime Minister Mark Carney took an intensive three week crash course in tongue-biting from someone who is a world renowned expert in the ...

Southern Manitoba’s most popular shopping centre in Gretna, Manitoba has gone to extreme lengths to get rid of the teens who’ve been loitering in the parking lot this spring. To address this problem, ...

Area man Garth Siemens couldn’t figure out what happened to his iPhone screen this afternoon. “I was just sitting there watching the first church softball game of the season,” said Siemens. “And the ...

One area man is on a mission this afternoon to figure out whether people who saw things differently than him in the recent election are either utterly stupid or unredeemably evil. “About 58% of the ...

Area man Richard Epp, 71, has single-handedly turned the tide of the entire federal election after posting a political meme that got three likes this afternoon. “Well, three likes and an angry face,” ...

Area woman Carolyn Enns, 71, was sick and tired of all the wrath and judgement she received for attending a movie on occasion that she decided it was time she attended a film instead. “I can’t even ...

Voters across the country are gearing up for what just may be the most exciting and important False Dichotomy we’ve had in many decades. “It was really hard to decide who to vote for,” said Mrs.